I have heard many times that people learn to parent from their parents but I don't see how. Don't get me wrong my parents were ok for their time but if I used their methods today society would shun the effort. My mother could use answers like "Because I said so" and ask questions like "Do you want me to spank you" and still seem reasonable. Try these methods today and you'll be told you are damaging the emotional well-being of your child. Today you are expected to have reasonable answers to their questions of why and spanking is absolutely taboo now we must talk to them and understand why they are not complying with our requests. The resulting effect is that I spend a large portion of my time talking and very little of my time feeling heard. More often than not I give up before they do.
My mother used phrases like "A stitch in time saves nine" and my father answered my questions with "I would hesitate to assertain with any great degree of accuracy". I got frustrated by the phrases they used that I didn't understand and went and looked the answer to my question up in a dictionary, encyclopedia, or text book. I was 14 when I finally realized my dad was saying "I don't know" when he used all of those big words. My children have computers, text books, public libraries, teachers, and they still think I should know everything and if I say I don't know they expect me to look it up and get back to them. When I do get back to them with my new found knowledge they argue with me and tell me I'm wrong because their teacher said it was something else. They then get the answer wrong on their homework and return angry with me because I told them wrong when in actuallity they chose not to use the answer I had given them. The process is exhausting.
I love parenting and have learned a lot from my children so if anyone has any topics of discussion or questions I would be happy to answer. Starting tomorrow I'll be sharing a few examples of what has worked for me over the last 20 years. Good luck and happy parenting.
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omg. I just said the same exact thing to my friend regaurding my 10.5 yr. old daughter, please tell me it gets better. I know, when there about 40 and I tell them to look it up for themselves and stop arguing with yourself! hee-hee
ReplyDeleteThanks, I was starting to think I was alone out here. My 20 year old has finally determined that I know nothin about some things and everything about others so yes it does get better.
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